A Lobotomy With A Rusty Scalpel

Michael Savage once described liberalism as a mental disorder. Ann Coulter, before her mid-life crisis crush on Mitt Trotsky, once said that liberalism was the philosophy of madmen. Mark Levin calls it "statism" and historian Brian Crozier calls it "totalism". All accurate descriptions to be sure, but I humbly throw my definition of liberalism into the ring:

Liberalism is a lobotomy with a rusty scalpel.


At this stage of the game, I can't even remotely figure out what liberalism is anymore. It's no longer just a moronic longing to turn the United States into the Soviet Union. It's a brain infarction loaded with so much doublethink even George Orwell wouldn't get it. According to the Moveon Mafia:

• We should trust the bloated Federal Leviathan that spies on us with our health care.
• The right to bear arms only exists for police officers, despite the fact that most liberals think every cop is some sort of fascist thug.
• Global warming is causing winters to become colder.
• The Bill of Rights no longer applies, but the"right" to murder unborn children and the "right" of Skip to marry Chip are sacrosanct.
• Racism and sexism are the worst things in the universe, unless the venom is thrown at Christian white males. At that point, it's called being "down with the struggle".
• Business owners are scumbag robber barons who are getting rich on the backs of the little guy, but a worthless hag like Beyonce is entitled to make a zillion dollars entertaining murderers like Qadaffi.
• Religion is bad, but Islam is the "Religion of Peace" no matter how many wars it causes.

We could go on and on, but it's giving me a headache.

Ladies and gentlemen, although it's fun to point out the hypocrisies that blend together to create modern liberalism, one should remember that liberalism (also known as "progressivism") is the ideological parent of communism, fascism, and Nazism. It isn't descended from the works of Smith, Burke, or the Founders, it's the love child of Karl Marx and Frederich Engels. The practice of institutional eugenics wasn't an idea that was hatched in the Third Reich, it started during the "Progressive" Era in the United States. Republicans have never rounded up American citizens, but Franklin Dictator Roosevelt did. Bull Connor, master of the fire hose, wasn't some "hater" who hung out with the Koch brothers, he was a passionate socialist. And before I forget (like the media and academia has), liberalism often means war. World War I was started with Woodrow Wilson in office. World War II started under FDR's watch. Korea started under Truman, and JFK found time between popping pills and womanizing to send American troops to Vietnam. And, let's not forget our Nobel Piece of Crap winning Dear Leader Barack Hussein Obama. He wasn't satisfied with just using America's military might to make sure the Muslim Brotherhood took over Libya. Barry wanted to start World War III in Syria and be on al-Qaeda's side.


Here's the bottom line folks: Liberalism is the most destructive idea man has ever had. Every horror of today's world can be traced back to liberalism in one way or another. If We the People don't figure a way to beat it back once and for all, "a lobotomy with a rusty scalpel" won't be a description of a political ideology gone mad, it will be a punishment in a gulag for refusing to go along with the program.